To You I Write This Letter

This letter is to you,

I know you have been struggling lately trying to stay afloat. Your whole world is turning upside down and you have no clue as to why. You have put on your brace face for too long and you can’t take it any longer. You’re trying to believe there is good in this world but all you are seeing is bad. Why can’t you just catch a break, why can’t something go right for once, why can’t you just be happy? You are at rock bottom right now and you’ve been here more then you’d like to admit. So why shouldn’t you give up, life certainly shows that you should right? You have been so good to people but people have managed to suck the soul right out of you. So why should you try anymore?

I’ll tell you why you should keep going, you are a fighter never backing down no matter what! You are what makes this world different, you might now believe that but we need someone like you to guide others. You don’t understand how incredible you are. You motivate others, that’s why it might seem like the world is out to get you but don’t let it! So see yourself for who you truly are, don’t give up, & stay that warrior you’ve always been.

Don’t Stop Just Keep Going

  • Keep Going!
  • No matter how Stuck you feel in life.
  • No matter how Bad things get for you.
  • No matter how many night you’ve spent Crying yourself to sleep
  • No matter how Hopeless you feel about everything.
  • No matter how many days you have went Comparing yourself to others.
  • No matter how many times people have tried to Bring You Down.
  • No matter the days you have felt like you Can’t Do Anything Right.
  • No matter how many people Judge you.
  • No matter what Fears you have.
    No matter how many days you have went Wishing things were Different.
  • You will not feel this way Forever, I promise. Just start living life how you want too, but just Keep Going!
  • 12 Things To Remember Through Life.

    1. You can not change the past it’s the past for a reason.
    2. Opinions don’t refine your reality.
    3. Everyone’s journey through life is different.
    4. Judgements are confessions of character.
    5. Overthinking will lead to sadness & being stuck.
    6. You are the only one who controls your happiness it is found within.
    7. You have to give time for things to get better.
    8. Positive thoughts will make how you look at things better so they will bring better outcomes.
    9. Smile whenever you can you never know whose day it will change.
    10. Spread kindness everywhere you go
    11. Quitting is the only reason you will fail.
    12. Be the change you want to see in the world, because what goes around comes around.

    Is The Relationship Different Behind Closed Doors?

    7C2081A9-962C-4F8C-847E-8C39D6755ADBDo you ever notice when you and your partner are out in public he’s charming, nice, engaging, but when you get back to the house they are completely different? If your answer is yes, then you most likely are dating a narcissist and in a toxic relationship. Most likely you already knew that or your still in the hypnosis stage of the narcissist. If you don’t understand that part it is like you are in this trance that you thought you never would be in. Do you find yourself thinking what is going on or who am I, since you have been in the relationship? If you answered yes again then yes, your relationship is toxic and most likely dealing with a narcissist.

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    So you met someone who seemed too good to be true, am I right? It was like love at first sight, so charming, so intriguingsomeone you always wanted to fall in love with. Your partner probably gets along with everyone because of their charismatic nature, always so self composed, and caring. At first they wanted to know everything about you, weaknesses, problems, life struggles, every little detail. I bet you thought they really care obviously since they are so intrigued about me right? That is your partner gaining knowledge to use against you, they are preparing, but first they need you to fall in love. Love Bombing is what they do best. Just remember while you are reading this it is NOT your fault and it can happen to anyone. They said all the right things in the beginning, you told them about past shitty ex’s most likely & their response was you don’t have to worry about that with me, or something along the lines of that. They also did all the right things in the beginning where you felt so high on love that nothing could bring you down. So the Love Bombing worked, and you end up head over heels. Your narc has you now wrapped around their twisted little finger, without you even knowing because why would you they are everything and more. Time goes by a little and day by day things seem to change. Their attitude when you guys are alone might seem harsher, you might notice come criticism, and controlling behavior. They can not just go full-blown narcissist on you yet, they have to slowly ease towards it first before they rip off their mask completely. You might not notice them easing towards the side you thought you would have never seen at first because you love them.

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    The mask ended up coming completely off right? They went slow at first starting with little things to soul suck you draining every ounce of self-esteem you had. They started criticizing everything, the way you dressed, looked, how you are supposed to feel. They started controlling every aspect of you life, who you could be friends with, how you could dress, how you had to have them with you if you ever wanted to hang out with friends. They ended up isolating you from everyone including family because who needs anybody else when you have them. The longer it went or goes by you find yourself feeling like a puppet while your partner pulls the strings. If you ever mention anything about how you feel, you are overreacting and crazy, so you start to double think maybe your making a big deal about nothing. You are living in hell literally, walking on eggshells, double thinking what you do or say because you do not want to set them off.  Your mind ends up blank because opinions, what are those? You are not allowed to disagree with your partner. Who would you tell anyways because nobody would believe that such a charming and nice person would act like that.

    Living In Terror, right? Everyday you just pray things will get better it never does, you always end up doing something to set them off even while trying your best not too, but it never happens. Through the mental abuse you now are dead inside living in a shell. Most of the time it will turn violent in these types of relationships. Even though you have the bruises or whatever that are visible, if someone asks about them you lie. Who would believe you anyways? Everyone close to you will notice a difference in the way you hold yourself most likely, so they might start suspecting things. They might finally try to talk to you about it but you can’t say anything, well it seems like that at the moment. You are damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

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    When they do domestically abuse you, they are sorry right? Yea of course they pretend to be sorry, they can not lose their puppet they have been playing with. They might even use the tactic of I’m going to kill my self cause I’m so horrible, so now you’re consoling them, most likely telling your partner everything is fine when you know it’s not. So it will be your fault in the end because if you hadn’t done this they wouldn’t have lost their temper. Are you realizing now that is not love? Your partner will sense that so they will put back on their mask to make everything seem like it’s back to normal. Catch and release is what I like to call it, they are nice and you feel at ease just like a fish finally being released back into the water. They see you bought it so they take the mask back off boom catched again, like a fish struggling for water. You can’t leave until they are finished most of the time. If you can then do it now so you don’t become another woman dead at the hands of her abuser. In most cases they will just ghost you because they need or found a new puppet. You will most likely wonder what you did wrong, why did they just leave, but take it as a win. You will realize how better off you are but you will go through some emotional overload at first, just take the time to heal whether it is months or a year it is different for everyone. Now if you read this and are in a relationship now that matches this. LEAVE them now, no you can not fix them, no they will not change, and yes it will just get worse. You are not dumb or naive, you are a warrior with a caring heart. With all off that being said to the survivors you are stronger than you might think and same to the ones who are suffering silently.

    Much Love- Delightfully Chaotic

    The Weird Normal For A Family In The Eyes Of A Little Girl

    Normal families usually include a mother, father, sibling setting right? Well that wasn’t my reality, mine was mother and mother’s secret boyfriend. Father with fathers secret girlfriend. Even being really young you pretty much know that isn’t normal but being young you don’t really take it into consideration that much, I mean we had to act like the perfect family for the worlds view. Except it wasn’t normal, I knew better not to mention to either parent about their other significant other, but being grilled and asked all the time sometimes I would slip and accidentally tell. I was just tired of the arguing, the fighting, the being woken up in the middle of the night by fighting because once again mom came home drunk to fight with dad. I don’t know how many times being drug out of bed in the middle of the night cause one of them found out where the other one was. Mommy I would yell daddy is beating up your boyfriend or vice versa. That was my normal version of a “family.” The time finally came for the divorce, I know most kids would be distraught but honestly I was relieved. I was tired of faking a happy family when in reality it was complete chaos behind closed doors. How worse could it get now right? The question you should never ask yourself because it can be. I was a daddy’s girl but his new girlfriend wanted me out of the picture you see because she had her own daughters who needed a father, so slowly I was pushed aside with my dad being oblivious to what was happening not seeing how she was always making me feel uncomfortable being there, made it known by her I wasn’t welcomed. I quit coming around I quit trying I wasn’t relevant anymore he had 3 other daughters to take care of now. Now I didn’t have my dad and was stuck with my mother. See she’s a narcissist & needs someone around to make miserable that’s how she thrives. She’s a puppet master and loves pulling on those strings. I had no one when I needed them the most. She ended up being in the bars mostly every night bringing home every joe blow anyways so at least I had that to give me a break from the mental destruction that was leading me too. Even with growing up thinking that was normal it made me know what I didn’t want to be like. So far have succeeded and will make sure I never do. With that being said I’m going to end it right there, there’s more that builds up to all of this but I’ll continue it later. Read More