Tips On Becoming A Happier Person.

  • Find joy in every moment you experience
  • Get rid of things you don’t need
  • Make time for yourself
  • Get out & experience new things, take a chance & get out of your comfort zone
  • Take time for yourself (putting yourself first every now & then don’t make you selfish)
  • Spend time outdoors & breathe in the fresh air
  • Get out of bed & do something you enjoy
  • Had a silly fight with an old friend? Reconnect with them
  • Make time for the people you love
  • Stop complaining about everything that is going wrong & cherish what is going right
  • Let go of the bitterness & grudges you hold onto
  • Meditate & talk to someone
  • Write down your goals & dreams; Work towards them
  • Be yourself don’t change for anybody
  • Be confident & courageous
  • Always be kind but never anyone’s stepping stone

The Darkest Night With The Devil In Disguise.

Was this the day? Am I going to be another statistic on the news of a girl dying by the hands of her abusive boyfriend?

It was actually a decent day that day, no fighting, not being criticized, just normal for once. I needed normal for once it seemed everyday was always something, so to be able just to hang out and everything be okay was an awesome feeling.

It was a nice summer day and there we were just hanging outside listening to music, playing with his nephew, and enjoying his mother’s company. We finally were fine for once. I was dancing with his little nephew and catching froggies as he would call them. Just a normal summer day as I recalled and he was finally in a good mood. His mother left to go home as the sun started to set, his sister and nephew were living there at the time so they stayed.

My sons were in Florida at the time I was waiting for their FaceTime call. They finally called and we talked for awhile. When we hung up I looked over at him sensing something wrong, so I asked him what was the matter. I should of known not to ask that question because he could flip from being normal to the devil in a blink of an eye.

There he proceeded to pin me down on the bed while he choked me, I frantically tried getting his hands away from my neck. They were so tight and strong I couldn’t do anything. His sister opened up the door because she heard the noises while yelling what are you doing? Get off of her! He turned to her now pinning her up and choking her against the wall.

What would any normal person do run for it while he was preoccupied or put the attention back on yourself? Well I am not the type to stand by and let someone else get hurt, so I put the attention back on myself. Her son woke up by that time and she had him in her arms, screaming for me to hurry as she stood by the front door. I thought I had lost him as I was running around to different parts of the house. While I tried to reach her at the front door he stopped in the middle of us. Turning to his sister and busting her lip open as she held his own nephew in her hands.

No not her I thought as I jumped on his back to put the focus on me once again. I yelled out Go, Get out of here! You guys get somewhere safe don’t worry about me! I could see her hesitation at first as I was being dragged by my hair on the floor but her son needed to be out of there and both of them safe. I was punched, kicked, and threw around like a rag doll which seemed like forever. I would get away and run around to try and hide. I of course avoided the gun room I didn’t need that to pop in his head at the time. I ran around the dining room table and boom he just jumped up on it like Spider-Man where he was right in front of me, with the most evil look.

After a few more hits and feeling helpless I got away once again. I don’t know how I did but I had finally lost him. I was hiding in a room I could hear him yelling out my name, my heart beating faster then ever, & panicking about what I was going to do. I see a window, thank goodness. So I opened it as I could hear him getting closer, I couldn’t get the screen open, shit what now? He was closer I could hear panicking I just ripped the screen open and jumped out.

Finally I’m free I thought as I tried to get back up on my feet to run, but that didn’t last long as he somehow was right behind me tackling me to the ground before I even had a chance. How did he manage to get there so quickly I still ponder on that. He drug me by my hair back towards the window I had just jumped out of while shoving and punching me back into it. This is it, I said to myself I am going to be on the news tomorrow. My sons will grow up without their mother because a narcissistic sociopath is going to take my life and I can’t stop him.

It seemed like hours being in that house, the torture, the pain, and the fear were all unbearable. I don’t know how I managed to get away once again but when I did I made a run for it. Finally I reached the front door and opened it. I’m free I just got to make it too his sister, but as soon as I opened that front door, I was shoved so hard that it felt like I had just hit a car. My neck went back as my body flew forward, my chin hit the porch, and then my head. I must have blacked out for the moment because next thing I know I’m laying face down, not moving, while he kicked me in my ribs telling me to wake up stupid bitch. I laid there for a second trying to process the situation, then I heard his sister yell from the inside of her car to please get up and get in the car.

I forced myself up and ran as fast as I could. I made it as I slammed the car door and locked it, there he was banging on the window. He was trying to get in, she had already been on the phone with the cops, so I honestly don’t really know how much time I had spent in his hell but it seemed never ending. He screamed something and went inside the house, my thought was he was going to get a gun. He’s going to shoot me, as I raised my concern to her, I was about to open the car door. If he comes back out with a gun then drive off, I told his sister. She told me not to open the door but I was not going to let that little boy get hurt or her again. She’s screaming for the cops to hurry up and what was taking so long. He comes back out and I’m ready to open up the door if I see a gun, but he didn’t have gun. He had a belt or something in his hands so I let go of the door handle.

I finally heard the sirens coming down the dirt road while he screamed at me he will show me. He left off into the dark woods and the cops pulled in. The relief I felt was the best feeling ever. I was finally safe and I wasn’t going to be on the news tomorrow. I could finally breathe all though I was still panicky and in shock. They eventually found him, I guess he tried killing himself with a belt and they took him to the hospital. Great trick I thought to myself anything to avoid jail right? The cops took pictures, took statements, and everything they are supposed to do. I went to the hospital to get checked out. I obviously had bruises all over, scratches, scrapes, a busted chin, and a broken front too. So they did cat scans and X-rays. My X-ray showed I had some fractured ribs and had internal bruising but my cat scan came back normal thank goodness.

I got to go home that night thanking God for letting me survive and not letting me be another statistic. I was sore for awhile and I didn’t FaceTime my kids until my face was better. He ended up avoiding jail by going to a mental hospital and getting put on medication. The times before obviously had changed me but that night had the greatest impact on who I am today. That night will forever haunt me and make me realize I am lucky to be alive at the same time.

I am stronger, braver, and more fiercely than I would of ever realized. I have fought battles others would never know because I hold the scars inside. Do not ever judge me because you could not walk a mile in my shoes. I am a survivor, I am a warrior, I am me!

Daily Thoughts Everyday To Tell & Teach Yourself That You Are Enough & Worthy Of Loving Yourself.

  • So I stand out who cares being normal is boring
  • Yes I’ve made mistakes in the past but I’ve also learned from them
  • No one can tell me what I can’t do, I can do whatever I set my mind too
  • I will succeed & if I fail the first time I will not give up until I do
  • I believe in myself because I am the only person who truly knows me
  • I don’t care what people think, their opinions do not define my life
  • I am strong, a lot of people would of given up by now but I haven’t
  • I am beautiful
  • I will not let toxic people keep me from my potential
  • I will be the change I wish to see
  • So what if they left me, it is their loss and my gain
  • I will show the world the potential I have
  • I have no time to hold onto hate, hatred will only slow me down, & make me bitter
  • Who cares where other people are in life, I work at my own pace on my own journey
  • I will choose to be happy because I am the only one who can control my happiness
  • I know what I deserve & will not let anybody give me less
  • I am confident in my actions & beliefs
  • I am a great friend, I will always be there when needed
  • I am enough & whoever doesn’t realize that there’s no point in being in my life
  • If you bring me down I will have no problem walking away
  • I know life is short & I will live everyday like it is
  • Everything that happens is happening for a reason & leading me to my destiny
  • If I am knocked down I will always stand back up
  • I will speak up for what I believe
  • I will not be your door mat, my worth is much more then that
  • I will smile & laugh, that is the best medicine for my soul
  • I will let go of my fears, they only hold me back anyways
  • I will not apologize for who I am, if you don’t like it then that’s on you
  • I will have confidence, just because I have confidence doesn’t make me cocky
  • I am grateful for every experience I have dealt with & every person who has taught me any kind of lesson
  • I am amazing, I am free, I love myself, and I am proud of the warrior I have became

It’s Okay To Be Angry.

It is okay to be angry about the abuse you endured, the lies you were told, the hurt you were given. Take time to be angry, do not keep it in. You can not start to heal if you do not let yourself be angry. Keeping it inside will only make it worse, it needs to escape your soul. If you do not let yourself be angry, it will grow into depression, self hatred, and most likely redirected anger. After being in an abusive relationship you overthink everything.

  • I should have done this differently
  • I should of said this instead
  • I should of stood up for myself
  • Why did I not leave sooner how was I so stupid
    I should of seen all the signs in the beginning
  • Thinking back about what you should or shouldn’t have done isn’t going to help your growth. You even might start seeing yourself becoming angry but over little stuff and at the wrong people, because you are angry at yourself. You shouldn’t be angry at yourself because nothing was your fault. So instead of keeping the anger in or redirecting it to someone who doesn’t deserve it, take time to let your anger out.
    • Set times where you need to just let your anger out
      Think about what your anger is directed too and let it out
      Let it out in your own personal setting in your room, in your car away from others, or drive to a secluded area. Wherever you can feel comfortable & not hurt others
      Scream as loud as you want, pretend your telling the person your thinking of whatever comes to mind, punch your pillow, whatever you have to do.
  • When you let your anger out in your own way, private, and personal way, you don’t have to actually hurt anyone else. You can let the anger release out of your body day by day. You can start feeling more like a weight has been lifted off of you. It’s okay to be angry and let it out, but just make sure your doing it more in a positive way so you can heal without wounding others who never deserved it.
  • 7 Rules You Need To Realize First For A Better Life

    1. Stop Overthinking Things! When you over think a situation you end up thinking of only the negative & stopping yourself from enjoying life.
    2. There is no such thing as perfect so quit trying to be. Nobody is perfect even the ones who might seem to be, we are humans who make mistakes & that is okay.
    3. Stop worrying about others. Do not compare your life to others because everyone has their own pace and their own journeys. Also, who cares what people think about you. People don’t define your life, you do!
    4. Love yourself first. If you don’t love yourself then how could you love anyone else. Self love is the most important part for you to actually start enjoying life.
    5. Quit worrying about the past. So you made mistakes? We all do, doesn’t mean it has to define you forever.
    6. Be the difference you want to see in the world. This world can suck, we all know it. Whatever you believe in stand up for it. Shown others you are not ashamed to be different.
    7. Never give up. If you are quick to give up when things don’t go your way how will you ever succeed? See failures as a learning experience and keep trying till you get it right.Blog

    To You I Write This Letter

    This letter is to you,

    I know you have been struggling lately trying to stay afloat. Your whole world is turning upside down and you have no clue as to why. You have put on your brace face for too long and you can’t take it any longer. You’re trying to believe there is good in this world but all you are seeing is bad. Why can’t you just catch a break, why can’t something go right for once, why can’t you just be happy? You are at rock bottom right now and you’ve been here more then you’d like to admit. So why shouldn’t you give up, life certainly shows that you should right? You have been so good to people but people have managed to suck the soul right out of you. So why should you try anymore?

    I’ll tell you why you should keep going, you are a fighter never backing down no matter what! You are what makes this world different, you might now believe that but we need someone like you to guide others. You don’t understand how incredible you are. You motivate others, that’s why it might seem like the world is out to get you but don’t let it! So see yourself for who you truly are, don’t give up, & stay that warrior you’ve always been.

    Don’t Stop Just Keep Going

    • Keep Going!
    • No matter how Stuck you feel in life.
    • No matter how Bad things get for you.
    • No matter how many night you’ve spent Crying yourself to sleep
    • No matter how Hopeless you feel about everything.
    • No matter how many days you have went Comparing yourself to others.
    • No matter how many times people have tried to Bring You Down.
    • No matter the days you have felt like you Can’t Do Anything Right.
    • No matter how many people Judge you.
    • No matter what Fears you have.
      No matter how many days you have went Wishing things were Different.
  • You will not feel this way Forever, I promise. Just start living life how you want too, but just Keep Going!
  • 12 Things To Remember Through Life.

    1. You can not change the past it’s the past for a reason.
    2. Opinions don’t refine your reality.
    3. Everyone’s journey through life is different.
    4. Judgements are confessions of character.
    5. Overthinking will lead to sadness & being stuck.
    6. You are the only one who controls your happiness it is found within.
    7. You have to give time for things to get better.
    8. Positive thoughts will make how you look at things better so they will bring better outcomes.
    9. Smile whenever you can you never know whose day it will change.
    10. Spread kindness everywhere you go
    11. Quitting is the only reason you will fail.
    12. Be the change you want to see in the world, because what goes around comes around.

    How Can One Minute Of Our Life Affect Us Entirely?

    A year, a month, a day, or just a single minute has the chance to change everything in our life. You never know what each day brings and how it will change you. It only takes one phone call, one tear, or one heartbreak to change the way you look at things. You can look back and see how much it has changed you and dwell on the fact, or you can use it to motivate yourself to do what you had wished you’d done. You only get one life and in those sixty seconds everything could change. Live life how you want to, show others love, be a wildflower in a bed of roses, and delightfully chaotic. Just enjoy life however and wherever you can because you never know when that one minute will come.